I fell in love with "Jack" (not his real name) when we were 16 years old. High school sweethearts. We dated for five years, broke up and went our separate ways. I was heartbroken, but fell in love again, got married, had a son, then a daughter and later divorced. Six months after my divorce, I received a text from Jack. It had been 30 years. He had been divorced for several years and was in Oregon and I was in Alabama with my daughter, Maggie, who was still in high school. I wasn't going anywhere until she graduated. 
Jack and I met at various destinations throughout the next few years and when Maggie went to college, I shipped my clothes, packed my car and headed for Oregon. I had wanted to marry him since age 16. He was the love of my life. 

You've heard the saying: everything was good until it wasn't. And it wasn't good for long. He was an alcoholic. I hadn't realized it because we had only been together on "vacations" and I thought he was just relaxing and enjoying himself. The verbal abuse started early on. Verbal and emotional abuse are like paternal twins. They are always together, but not identical. Then came the gaslighting. ( I didn't even know what gaslighting was until I listened to a Dr. Phil podcast on narcissism.)
I pretended like everything was fine, as far as my friends and family were concerned, they thought my life in Portland was blissful. Until I left him the first time. He was a very highly functioning alcoholic, running a company by day and getting tanked at night. The physical abuse didn't start until after I came back. Yes, I went back. Multiple times.
I think six or maybe seven. Insane, right?

I had become the woman I never thought I would be.

I was lucky. I survived. He was taken to jail and I ended up in the ER.

(My story in detail and more about my life surrounding the abuse and the final incident will be told on Respect Red Flags Podcast.)